Chapter 5 : My Father’s Marriage

My Father’s Marriage

When my father was 18 years of age and in employment at Iltifatganj, Teeg Ali’s wife (my paternal grandfather’s brother’s wife who had adopted him) strongly expressed that he should get married. As I have mentioned earlier, my maternal grandfather Akbar Ali Sahib (May Allah have mercy on him) was the administrator and manager of all the land owned by the family. He died by drowning in River Ghagra in 1857 and had left behind three young sons and one daughter (my respected mother). My mother was six months old at the time of her father’s death. The income from their remaining land was minimal and neither was there another earning adult in the family. Therefore, raising these orphaned children took place in poverty stricken conditions. My maternal grandmother was well educated and good at managing the household affairs. She taught the children Urdu and Persian etc. according to the standard of the time. My paternal grandmother made a specific effort to ensure my father was married within the family and succeeded in doing so; when my mother was fourteen years old she was married to my father and my eldest brother was born in 1288 Hijri.

My maternal grandmother was from the saadaat family from Nandroli situated in Bikapur in the Faizabaad District. Her maternal Uncle was a Kaamil Walliyullah and Sahibe Ilm and he had undertaken the upbringing of my maternal grandmother. Apart from being able to write Hindi and Urdu, she was competent in shariat wa tareeqat, and had mastery in kashfe quboor etc. She put an utmost level of effort and self-sacrifice into riyazate shaqah and dhikr wa adhkar . She had also taught my mother how to speak and write Hindi, as well as teaching her literature in Hindi such as Padmavat and Hans Jawahir. She instigated within her a passion for Tasawwuf which deepened after she took bay’at with Hadrat Molana Fadhlul-Rahman Gunj-Muradabadi. Although she had many children, my mother used to regularly wake-up in the night and perform tahajjud prayers and engage in dhikr and munajaat until morning. It was her practice until the latter part of her life to recite Surah Ikhlas two hundred times daily and gift it to the beloved Prophet Sallahu alayhi wasallam. Throughout her lifetime, she worked diligently at her housekeeping as well.

When my mother moved to Madinah Munawwarah, she had to grind flour with her own hands owing to the poverty that befell them: it was something she never had to undertake whilst living in India. Even at this old age she used to grind flour daily with one of her three daughter- in-laws. She showed wisdom in her love for the children and never complained about having to separate them for their educational development. She took great concern in the education and upbringing of the children. From a young age, she displayed a passion for deenand she took care that stories and parables contained elements of spiritual and moral development for the children.

My mother's genealogy is as follows: Binte Akbar Ali bin Makhdoom bin Toorab Ali bin Shah Madan (May Allah be pleased with them). Shah Madan had three sons; Toorab Ali, Hidayatullah and Noor Ashraf. My father was from the children of Noor Ashraf and my mother was from the children of Toorab Ali and had three brothers called Tasdeeq Hussain, Tafaddhul Hussain and Abdul Gafoor (who had no children). Shah Madan’s third son also had no children. My mother passed away in 1322 Hijri and was buried in Jannatul Baqee. Thereafter my father married several times but did not attain the contentment that he hoped to achieve by remarriage. My mother was very fortunate; from the moment she married many blessings were witnessed in the wealth and number of children in our family. Although she encountered the death of some of her children during infancy, she never had to face the death of any children during their youth.

My father, intentionally, transferred his employment from Bangarmau (to Tanda) on a lower wage scale, as their remaining landownership was at risk. My paternal uncle was unable to release it from the existing mortgage and he was not safe from the violence and aggression of the affected shared owners. My father reached Tanda and took a loan out on cottonseed oil and had the mortgaged land released. Within six to seven years they were able to repay the new loan because of the income of the land, and thereafter, the land was mutually divided between them. My paternal uncle and his children were able to live with ease, my father was also able to gain benefit from the landownership and they were both able to conduct their children’s marriages etc. without incurring any loans.